Tag Archives: Earthquakes

US PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP SOLVES THE PROBLEM OF WORLD HUNGER!

14 Jun

BREAKING NEWS STORIES

U.S. PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP SOLVES THE PROBLEM OF WORLD HUNGER!
However, his critics say, “Too little, too late” and one reporter said he thought he saw a piece of lettuce in the teeth of the American President.
U.S. PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP SECURES PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST!
However, this colossal news story was preempted on American TV by the breaking news that a former Hollywood starlet, Hasbeen Medioker, recently came forward with the shocking realization that she now believes Trump was actually making a pass at her when he leaned forward to pet her beloved (but now deceased) Lhasa Apso, Tena-Dubi, (who was a gorgeous shade of light cream with charcoal blue markings and who enjoyed running in the park and sardine treats, according to the late dog’s obituary) at a coffee shop nearly 30 years ago!
“I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner,” she told CNN reporter Frankie Newt-Sham. “Now it all makes sense!” she screeched. “Tena-Dubi growled at The Donald because she knew that The Donald was actually trying to make a pass at me! It’s all so clear now. Or maybe Tena-Dubi thought he was trying to steal her sardine? Whoops! Oh, well!”
The ACLU is representing the now bankrupt, one-time actress in a civil lawsuit for monetary damages, a public apology and a demand that he step down from the office of President of the Untied States because, due to these shocking and newly reported revelations, he is obviously deemed unfit to stay in office.
Meanwhile, President Trump has solved the problems of World Smog, Climate Change (including the occurrence of earthquakes and tornadoes), U.S. Crime and Homelessness, the Extinction of any Species of Animal, and he has discovered Cures for ALS, AIDS and all forms of Cancer. However, these breaking news stories have been preempted on American TV by the earth shattering news that comedian Howie Mandel, of America’s Got Talent, is now able to shake the hand of a stranger without soaking his hand in bleach for an hour afterwards!

%d bloggers like this: